Harvest Moon

it was you who started this all
with your "confusion"

so I was pushed away.
all I wanted was an explanation
and you told me to leave you alone for now and you would get back to me.

So I did

Then out of the blue. after I put some lovely art on my side.
you want me back?
and of course I take you back. I love you.
Things were great that day.

~flash back.........~

Cold and raining.
You were in a red sweater.
There was tension. A lot.
I kissed your cold wet lips
you kissed back then ran...
upset.

~end flash back......~

the day after I take you back.
I get a call.
"I can't date you, My daddy won't allow it."
the things you told him.
true then.... not now....


the next day.....
you received a romance letter from ..anonymous.. in your car window

there was still hope for love.

as more and more of these letters were made... so was a note book.... so was more romance.
in a very non-romantic place. behind a broken piano in an old theatre.

but still hope.

then YOU said no more.
you said never again.
ever.

so I was forced to move on, but failed miserably
I tried to lust my way out of you with someone else. and failed.

When I knew there was no way I could get over you.
I tried for you again. but I had to tell you of my lustful ways.
I couldn't keep that from you. Even tho i had every right.

You told me it was fine.

So I came closer.

You kissed my best friend and you kissed my enemy.
and still I have hope.

You fear me? You should fear yourself.
I am not the enemy. and i will never hurt you.

stick your head under the guillotine
my neck is on that wood too baby...

the thing is, we are holding the rope.

and I will never let go with you beside me.
Ill never let go of you.

Ill never let go of the moon.
The park
Sarah bareilles
Rent
Vanilla lotion
Muah
slobber
collar bone
the piano
moshi moshi
grigg
the edge of your porch just below eyesight
lasertag
tannehill
atrox
red dots
one lil black dot
watching troy in the basement
rooftop and in a window ring any bells?
old stage
dorothy and scarecrow
hayride
breaking the ice with you
chocolate and the moon at bevill
fear of ducks
flaming speakers

I want more of these times.

We've had our fair share of mess ups.
But didn't help to realize that we do love each other.

That we do want to fight for each other.
All I have done for the past 2 months is try make things right
not just for us. but for me too. with church and me wanting to change the world.
but you keep me swimming in a sea of doubt
let me on the boat, don't let me drown. lets take this ship to land together.

and let the anchor down.... if you know what i mean.. jk jk

Don't let me be.. just the first.
everything i have is on the line
every hope
every thought
every emotion
every wrong
every right

I am completely open
no shield
no wall
no armor

just flesh and bone

be vulnerable with me

I won't let you down
you just have to believe in that

I know its hard.
and its stupid to do because I could just disappoint you again.

But just be vulnerable with me
be with me

cause I will be everything you want me to be and more.

I can't stand to see you walk away. well..i like to watch it..but.............. emotionally...i can't stand it.





I am completely in love with you. I can’t sleep when I think about you because I want to keep thinking about you, and when I do sleep I dream about you. I spend everyday in fear that you are going to tell me that we are only going to be friends, because I will never be just your friend. I will always be in love with you. I take every second I am given with you to try and get you to fall in love with me after the stupid things I have done. I am afraid to be hurt by you just as you are afraid to be hurt by me. Don’t give up on me. I’ve torn down every wall to let you in. Have a seat on the couch, relax, take your shoes off, I’m never going anywhere as long as you hold on to me. Just do the same for me. Let me in. Lets take our torn down walls and build a mansion together. A world together. A life together. Breathe my breaths with me. Pump my blood with your heart. Come back.